It all started when ...

My Ex-husband and I had a really, really, bad break-up. It wasn't our first break-up that was so bad, it was the one we had 7 years later, after we had continued running our business together. THAT break-up was the really bad one!

It was August 1999. I had just been diagnosed with "Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" as a result of living in a violent home as a child. I was also having to move from my rented home of 10 years to a new rented home, because my landlord had beceom ill and needed to downsize and move back in. It was at the height of the Dot.com Boom and Stephen, my Ex, had recieved an email from an interested party.

The Excuse ...

"I did not want to hurt you. I knew that you would be upset ... that you would go off like this. I did not want to bring the past back up for you again ... you were doing so well, were making so much progress and moving on. I did not want to drag you back into it. I thought that if I did not tell you, you would never have to know, and you would be able to keep on moving forward. I did not want you to go back to your hometown again ... your settled in here, it is good for you ... I didn't want to ruin it."

Hmmmmmmm. Right. So you were looking after my best interests were you? How terribley decent and considerate of you. That's fantastic. Yeap, really, really humane. I guess the part where you continued to be my boyfriend and have sex with me for that entire time was all part of your charitable nature as well too, huh! Yeah, having sex with me had nothing to do with it. The fact that I would never, ever, ever have gone near you with a 10 foot pole had I known any of these things, is bye, the, bye. You were of course protecting me from my own delicate and vulnerable feelings .... not committing rape by deception!

"You just take one thing I have done wrong and forget all the good stuff, you are going to throw away our entire relationship just because I did this one thing!"

Yep I am .... aren't I awful! Kcccckh!

Last Night....

Well, this was probably the third lie, but it was the worst. I found out by instinct and research ... emailed him, asked him if it were so, and then realised that when he did not email back ... I must have been right. All hell broke lose after that. I blocked him off facebook, removed him from all my other social sites (so many to remember!) eradicated his snarling glare of a face from my laptop screen .... shoved him off the edge of the cyber-earth.

And then he rang. Yep, he rang and said Why so mad??? What Betrayal? Why so terribley unforgiveable? Huh?

Screaming, yelling, crying. Don't you pretend that I don't know what I am talking about, don't you pretend you have no idea. You know what it is, I only just found out! Just!

How did you find out? Who told you? I thought you would never know, it is not in the public domain.

I think you will find that some of your trusted friends ain't so trustworthy afterall -- it's on the Net!