I can be unreasonable sometimes!

Can I be unreasonable? I know my Mum was. Can I be as bad as her? I guess my Ex-boyfriend sees it that way. I guess he thinks that when I get mad I am intolerable and that not telling me things that will make me mad is his best defence.

I have lost a few friends over the past 10 years. And willing to lose another, had my ex-b not pleaded his reasons for being so deceitful to me. I guess the real question is whether or not it is reasonable for me to be mad with him for getting the job, not whether or not it was reasonable for him to decide that the best way to cope with me was to lie about it.

I had not been a Director of the company for 8 years when ex-b was approached by the CEO to join a newly formed board, of only 4 people. I had employed two of those people myself, and Stephen was the other member. He was always a Director, since day one, and other than me, he had been almost totally the sole director for 17 years at this time. I had come and go a couple of times, first for 5 years, because you needed two in those days, and then for another 2 yrs later in the piece. But since I left there had only been one, and that was Stephen.

Ex-b's excuse was that I was long gone, and he did not tell me because he knew I would be upset.

Should I get upset with Ex-b for taking the job? I did not want to be a Director, and had not been for a long time, so what was it that was making me so damned MAD! >:[

In my mind he was taking my place AND he was condoning what had happened to me.

He could have said "... wait-up ... I'm not happy with the way you treated OMG!" "Are you going to treat me that way?" That's the point, what would I think if I was in his shoes! A very prestigious CEO in my field of work gives me a call and says "Mate, I want to have a meeting with you, we want you to become our new Director, we have lots of big plans, and it's going to be great, we will pay you heaps, and all you have to do is come to a meeting once a month. It will look spectacular on your resume."

I am ex-b, what is going thru my mind? "Aaaaw, they did not treat OMG! that bad. She is still really mad with them though, so if I take this job she will be mad with me too." "I better not tell her."

Does the fact that I would not take it mean I am a Fool? Does the fact that many women would stick up for their friends rather than take a spectacularly fantastic job mean that we are all off our fucking heads? Should I let someone elses life experiences influence what I do in mine like that?

I am trying really, really hard to see this differently and expand my worldview, but all I can think is that it's cowardly and my wrath can't be that bad. :D So, this is a very boring blog post indeed!